Warning possible trigger in this chapter.
** Beep Beep Beep **
Maritza and Donavon were both at the hospital working when I was brought it.
“Maritza, please tell me straight how is she?”
“Physically she is going to be fine. She lost a lot of blood but we got her stabilized.”
“And the baby?”
“I am sorry Donavon, the baby didn’t make it.”
“How am going to tell her? She was so excited — we were both so excited.”
“I know this is devastating and that it will take you both some time to heal. But from what I can tell there is no permanent damage and nothing to say the next pregnancy won’t be successful. Hopefully in time you will be able to try again.”
I finally woke up three days later.
“Where am I?” I asked as I tried to sit up.
Upon hearing my voice Donavon jumped up and ran to my side. He looked like he hadn’t showered or shaved in days.
“Don’t try to get up,” he said. “You are in the hospital.”
“What happened? Was I in an accident?”
“No, honey. You passed out at home. Gloria found you on the floor and called 911.”
“Is the baby ok?” I asked, even though deep down I already knew the answer.
“Oh, honey I am so so sorry.”
“No no no,” I cried. “I can’t have lost the baby.”
Donavon just held me while I cried in his arms.
After returning to the hospital I became like a ghost. I would just sit in the old rocking chair out in the barn. I wasn’t talking, eating or sleeping. I would just sit there and rock.
One day Maritza came over. She pulled me up out of the chair and told me I had to snap out of it. That I was destroying Donavon and Gloria, they were both so worried about me. Maritza, Ethan and their kids were all worried too. Then she told me something that I didn’t know. I guess when Franklin was two (before the twins were born) Maritza had been pregnant and suffered a miscarriage.
“How did I not know that?” I asked.
“It was right around the time your grandfather died. You all were so upset by his passing and you were finishing up high school and meeting your dad for the first time. Your whole life was in turmoil and it was so early in the pregnancy that no one but Ethan knew. We were both devastated but we had Franklin to think about and he got us out of bed every morning. A few months later we decided to try again. I was scared at first, worried that it could happen again but I am so glad I put the fear aside and tried again. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have the twins or the triplets. I still miss the baby that we lost everyday but I am so thankful for all the wonderful moments I have had since that horrible time. Don’t let this grief rob you of all of your future moments.”
After that Maritza and I cried together for awhile. Hearing her story helped me see that life can go on.
I cleaned up my face and went inside and for the first time in weeks cooked for my family.
I think both Donavon and Gloria were surprised when they came home to a home cooked meal and even more so that I had left the barn. But they didn’t question me about it. We just sat around the table as a family and they told me about their days.
A few weeks later Maritza called me up and asked me to come over.
“So I got this new experimental drug at the hospital today. It is a fertility treatment and is suppose to help increase the chance of conception. We are doing a medical trial and I wondered if you were interested in taking part.”
I agreed and filled out all the paper work.
I had to take this giant pill multiple times a day. Of course the only way to tell if it worked or not was if I conceived which meant lots and lots of making love for Donavon and I. One of the side effects of the pills was that it made me feel real frisky so I seemed ready for Donavon morning, noon, and night.
After taking the pills for about two months I woke up one morning feeling very nauseous.
I was so nauseous in fact that I got one whiff of breakfast and I had to bolt for the bathroom.
Just to be sure I took five tests and they all came back positive. I am so excited to be pregnant again but I also can’t help but worry about something happening.
Gloria and Donavon were both thrilled by the news.
I have found with this pregnancy that I am tired all the time and need to take naps constantly throughout the day.
However I didn’t let being tired stop me from planning a big birthday part for Gloria. I can’t believe she is going to be a young adult.
She aged up into a beautiful young woman.
During the party Maritza came over to me and put her hand on my belly.
“I would like you to come by my office tomorrow if you have time so I can run some tests.”
“Tests? Why? Is something wrong?” I could feel myself starting to panic.
“No, nothing is wrong. I am just a little surprised by your weight. You are only 6 months pregnant but you look like you are at full term. With the fertility drugs you were taking their is a high change you may be pregnant with multiples.”
“Or triplets or who knows.”
“Wow, I can’t even imagine. Gloria’s graduation is tomorrow. I will be stop by the hospital after is that ok?”
“That will be perfect.”
Later that night I told Donavon what Maritza had said. I was worried he would freak out but he just put his hand on my belly and told me that no matter how many babies were in there he loved each and every one of them.
The next morning we all headed downtown to City Hall for Gloria’s graduation.
Gloria was named Valedictorian and gave an amazing speech. The school had hired a photographer to take pictures of the graduates and their families. I can’t wait to hang the picture up at home with all of our other family photos.
Afterwards I pulled Gloria into a big hug and told her how proud of her I was.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said. “You were always there to help me with my homework assignments and school projects.”
As we were leaving City Hall I felt a contraction.
Gloria started to panic and began hollering for her dad. I admit I was panicking as well. I am only sixth months pregnant. It is too soon for this baby or babies to be born.
Donavon got the car and we raced to the hospital. Please let everything be alright. I can’t loose another baby.